“Finally I saw that worrying had come to nothing.
And gave it up.
And took my old body and went out into the morning and sang."

In her poem, I Worried, Mary Oliver offers what feels like an anthem for all of us doing the work of inner healing.


Our bodies will never be perfect and our voices might be shaky as we sing, but we become whole and gain our strength by showing up for ourselves AS WE ARE.


A powerful way of doing this is through self-portraiture.



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The Art of
Self-Validation: A Women's Circle

Brené Brown has shared through her research that: 

Our connection with other people is only as solid and deep as our connection to ourselves.”







I have created an experience for women
comprised of neuroscience-backed mindset work, sacred online gatherings & ongoing compassionate support for maintaining a
reflective self-portrait practice.

Self-validation is the farthest thing from selfish!

THIS IS FOR THE SELF-HEALERS
& THE DIG-DEEPERS...

So maybe
you're thinking...

why does validation
even matter?


let's talk about it...

I believe that the wound of invalidation is present for all of us.

But especially for women who regularly had their emotions dismissed in childhood, invalidation has been shown to lead to:

-anxiety
-imposter syndrome
-physical pain
-lack of peace 
-a dysregulated nervous system
-the need to stay busy
-& a general distaste for photographs of yourself.

Sound familiar?
You are not alone.



Especially now, with the constant pressure to share our lives on social media, the chance of having the scab ripped off of your wound of invalidation is greater than ever before.

An article written by Jenny TeGrotenhuis, a certified clinical trauma professional really opened by eyes to understanding how our early
experiences of invalidation can alter our brains and our capacity for trusting others AND trusting ourselves.


She writes:

"Those who’ve studied trauma have learned that when witnesses to injustice do nothing, it’s a greater source of distress for sufferers than the act of brutality itself.
This is because “neutrality” is a form of deep invalidation...
Invalidation is a form of relational trauma which, over time, harms the brain and nervous system.
Clearly, it also results in the disintegration of any healthy bonds of
connection, and dissolution of trust in others."


-When our emotions have been invalidated in childhood, it is common that we learn to distrust how we feel.

-When our emotional needs are brushed off, ignored, or shamed it is common not to learn how to be compassionate toward our own pain or the pain of others.

-And when our childlike vulnerability is invalidated, we learn to be tough and to compartmentalize feelings to avoid being hurt so deeply again.



HEALING THE INVALIDATION WOUND...

It wasn’t until reading the end of the article by Jenny TeGrotenhuis, where she gives advice for how to begin healing the deep wounds of invalidation, that I realized compassion could be viewed as a practice.


She writes,
“This will require the slow, ongoing work of diligent growth in character, self-awareness, and love. We’ve learned that it takes 20 experiences of attunement—or turning toward—to heal the limbic brain from one episode of invalidation. But because of neuroplasticity, practicing ‘small things often’ creates lasting change.”


When I first read that 20-to-1 ratio it made me feel exceptionally hopeless. Twenty times of attuning for each episode of invalidation?!

What about when invalidation has lasted years?!

But I was determined to find a way out of my negative thought patterns of unworthiness, and committed myself to the understanding that small things do add up to noticeable change over time.

-I REALIZED THAT ONE PHOTOGRAPH COULD BE EQUAL TO ONE TIME OF ATTUNING TO MYSELF!!

-A REGULAR SELF-PORTRAIT PRACTICE IS A RECIPE FOR HEALING OUR WOUNDS OF INVALIDATION!!!



The origin of our word VALID comes from the Latin word valere meaning “be strong" and this was absolutely fascinating to me!

-When we practice self-validation, we are significantly gaining mental, emotional, and spiritual strength!

The most natural way that I have found to validate my life experience
and give voice to my internal dialogue is through TAKING SELF-PORTRAITS AND REFLECTING ON WHAT I SEE WITHIN MYSELF THROUGH THE PROCESS.

I created this learning experience for us to learn how to sustain this practice TOGETHER. 

Will you join me?